Ah, Government
(Ten years after moving halfway across the United States, I still receive voter literature from California but addressed to my Missouri home. I thought I would try, once again, to remove my name from California’s voter registry, so I call the San Bernardino county registrar office.)
Me: “Hello, I’m calling to remove my name from San Bernardino County’s voter registration list… again.”
Employee: “Why?”
Me: “Because I moved nearly ten years ago.”
Employee: “May I have your contact information?”
(I give my former address and my Missouri address that is receiving the literature.)
Employee: “Hold, please.”
(After a few minutes, she gets back on the phone.)
Employee: “Your new address is not in county records.”
Me: “It must be. You send me voter literature.”
Employee: “Why?”
Me: “That is the question, isn’t it? Can you please remove me from your voter rolls?”
Employee: “Please hold.”
(Once again, she puts me on hold for a few minutes.)
Employee: “Ma’am, your current address is not in our records.”
Me: “Correct. It is in Missouri. That is why I do not want to receive voter literature from your county.”
Employee: “Why? You should vote.”
Me: “I do, in Missouri.”
Employee: “Can you come in and sign the papers?”
Me: “No. I do not live in California anymore.”
Employee: “Why?”
Me: “Because I moved my family to Missouri.”
Employee: “Why?
(As I mentally review approximately 119,312 answers I can give her, she speaks again.)
Employee: “Well, wait a minute.”
(After a brief wait, she returns.)
Employee: “I am unable to locate your new address in the San Bernardino County records. Are you sure it is in San Bernardino?”
Me: *frustrated* “No! It is in M-I-S-S-O-U-R-I. Osage County, Missouri.”
Employee: “Where do you live then?”
Me: *sighs* “Missouri.”
Employee: “Is that in San Bernardino County?”
Me: “No. It is in Missouri. Osage County, Missouri.”
Employee: “Is that in California?”
Me: “No. It is in Missouri. Although there is a California, Missouri…”
Employee: “Huh?”
Me: “Never mind. I do not live in San Bernardino anymore. I do not have a San Bernardino address.”
Employee: “Well, why did you call me then?”
Me: *face palm*
Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?
