New Heights Of Unreasonableness

(It is a busy Saturday night in a 70-seater a-la-carte restaurant. My father is restaurant manager and I am wine waiter. Two quite drunk fellas wander into the restaurant and sit at a table which has been reserved. My father notices this and makes his way to the table.)

Customer: “Bring us a menu.”

Father: “Sorry, gents, but this table’s reserved. You’ll have to go onto the waiting list but I should point out there’s a 45 minute wait.”

Customer: “We’re not moving. Bring us a menu.”

Father: “I’m sorry, but I’ve explained that you will have to wait.”

(The other drunk customer gets agitated and pipes up.)

Other Customer: “Look, just bring us menus or I’ll kick your head in.”

Father: *who is 6 foot 2 inches* “Sir, if you can lift your leg that high, you deserve to kick my head in. Now piss off out of my restaurant.”

(They did…)