New From Ben & Jerry’s: Cigarettes & Saliva

(I work at a small gas station near a popular casino, so I see a LOT of weird stuff. Shortly after I start my shift, a customer walks in with an ice cream he’s already opened and started to eat.)

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

(The customer proceeds to attempt English with his mouth full of ice cream, while he points at cigarettes.)

Me: “I’m sorry?”

(The customer leans over and drops a disgusting ball of ice cream coated in his saliva into his hand.)

Customer: “I’ll take [Cigarette Brand].”

(I did my best to keep a neutral face I’ve mastered over a long career in customer service as I grabbed the cigarettes and watched him put the ice cream back in his mouth and lick his fingers, before he proceeded to hand me his money with the hand he’d just dropped his ice cream into. Thank God I have a special spot just for disgusting money. I’ve never run to the back to wash my hands faster than I did after he left.)