Never Too Old For A Pissing Contest

(A man who appears to be in his 90s is ahead of me in line at the supermarket. Among his purchases is a bottle of bourbon. The cashier, going on automatic pilot, asks…)

Cashier: “May I see your ID, sir?”

Man: “Son, I’ll be mixing that bourbon with this Ensure, and then pissing it out into these Depends. I assure you I’m old enough to buy it.”