Never Joke With The Customers… Ever!, Part 15

At The Checkout, Grocery Store, Health & Body, USA | Right | August 24, 2025

I’m working the express checkout when a man unloads his basket: a twelve-pack of diet cherry cola, a family-sized lemon cheesecake, and nothing else. He doesn’t place the cola on the scale properly, so I come over and adjust it to help him out.

Customer: “What are you doing?! They’re diet! Diet cola!”

Me: “Sir, it’s not scanning properly because half of the pack isn’t on the scale. I just adjusted it for you.”

Customer: “Oh… okay. I thought you were… judging me.”

Me: “Sir, it’s none of my business what you buy. I like cola, too!”

The customer suddenly brightens.

Customer: “My doctor says I need to eat more fruits and vegetables, so I’m getting the cherry one instead of the regular!” *Then he pats the lemon cheesecake.* “And lemon counts as fruit, right?”

I think he’s joking and play along.

Me: “Absolutely! And if you want vegetables, we sell carrot cake!”

Customer: *Eyes lighting up.* “Ooooh! Good call! Can you hold this for me while I get some?!”

He runs off to the bakery, and I realize two things: one, he was not joking, and two, I’ve just inadvertently contributed to his… diet plan.