Never Heard Of Such An Apology

(Years ago, when my brother and I were children, we got into a fight, like siblings do. Since it was his misbehavior that started it, my parents lectured him about it and specified that he owed me an apology. A little while later, when we’re all sitting together again, this is the exchange that happens.)

Dad: “[Brother], did you apologize to [My Name] yet?”

Brother: “Yeah.”

Me: “No, he didn’t!”

Brother: “Yes, I did. I said it silently. To myself.”

(My very amused parents then had to explain to him that this did not, in fact, count as apologizing.)