Never Go Up Against A Scottish Grandmother

(Our manager has a bit of a short temper and a toxic attitude. I am working late one evening when he comes into the kitchen in a furious rage.)

Manager: “YOU! GET YOUR F****** A*** OUT THERE AND APOLOGISE!”

Me: *taken aback* “What did I do?”

Manager: “YOU RUINED THAT COUPLE’S ENTIRE EVENING. AFTER YOU APOLOGISE, GET OUT OF MY RESTAURANT AND DON’T COME BACK!”

(I walk up to the couple I have been serving, confused and upset.)

Woman: “Oh, my. Are you all right, dear? You look like you’re on the verge of tears.”

Me: “I’m, I… I just want to a… apologise for ruining your evening. I’m so sorry for whatever I’ve—“

Woman: “Oh, um… Sorry, but would you mind quickly grabbing [Manager], please?”

(I walk back to the manager’s office, now even more distraught. I can only mutter out a few words before he literally drags me back out. Before he can say anything, however, the woman stands up, furious, and shouts at him.)

Woman: “NO. LET GO OF HIM, NOW! THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT YOUR STAFF!” *after he sheepishly lets me go* “All I asked for was more salt, which at most would be a problem for your chef, not a busboy. You forced him to come out here and apologise for doing absolutely nothing. I asked you for salt, and I expect you to bring it. And I want to you on your knees, apologising to him. Your grandmother didn’t raise you to be a c***. She would be turning in her grave if she saw how you turned out.”

(To my surprise, the manager actually gets on his knees. I can only hear him mumble, which infuriates the woman further.)

Woman: “I didn’t catch that. SAY. IT. AGAIN!”

Manager: “I… I am sorry.”

Woman: *to me* “Is that acceptable?” *I nod* “Good. Now, you are going into the back and having a coffee before going home. And [Manager], you are paying him extra for your shameful behaviour.”

Manager: “But, [Woman], this is my rest—“

Woman: “That’s Mrs. [Last Name] to you. If you are going to act like one of my pupils, I will treat you like one.”

(She gives him another round of lecturing and we both head back into the kitchen. It is deathly silent. He turns to me.)

Manager: *in a whisper* “Get out of my restaurant, and don’t even think about showing yourself around here again.”

(I leave, feeling extremely confused and scared. I spend the next week fearful to do anything until I get a phone call from the restaurant.)

Manager: “[My Name], I just want to apologise for last week—“

Woman: *in the background* “With more sympathy, you heartless c***!”

Manager: “A-and I want to offer you your job back.”

(I’m completely taken aback by how far this woman will go, but I realise I can’t go back to working with him for fear of him exploding again.)

Me: “No, I don’t want that job anymore. I think I can do better.”

Manager: *snide* “You’re making a big mistake. Ow!”

(Rustling.)

Woman: “Did I hear that right? You told him to f*** off?”

Me: “Yes. I did.”

Woman: “Good. You’ll go far, I’m sure of it. Anyone can do better than him! Even at school he was a pain, and his grandmother, bless her soul, she knew how to raise them right, but he has always been a lost cause. Anyway, stick to it.” *hangs up*

(She was quite possibly the strangest woman I have ever met, but I’m glad that I had the chance. She did more than just protect me that day; she inspired me to work hard and not take so much crap from people.)