How To Nerf Annoying Neighbors

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 25, 2017

(I work from home, so my apartment neighbors don’t see me much. My sister is coming back in town to celebrate Christmas. As I haven’t seen her in months, and we are all a bit weird, I get the idea to do the whole “Welcome home! Your brother, niece, and I are hiding with fully-loaded Nerf guns. You have 30 seconds to grab your two guns on the counter.” I go down to my storage unit to test out and select guns from the mass arsenal I’m holding from 22 years of collective Nerf fighting between the three of us. I am picking out which to bring over to our mother’s house and which would be best for my four-year-old to use to help us. I leave the door open because I don’t think it will take that long. There are apartments in the basement, as well as a laundry room for people who don’t have in-apartment washers. I’m 5’6”, female, and rail-thin, and l am pretty much in my pajamas.)

Me: *click, click, pff! click, click, pff!* “Oh, that’s so mine!”

Neighbor: *peeking in* “Uh…”

Me: *turning around with an uzi of a Nerf gun over my shoulder* “What? It’s the holidays!”

(The neighbor gets all wide-eyed and bolts.)

Me: “I don’t know if I should be upset that he thinks I’m a crazy person, or glad he will never come knocking if my TV is too loud.”

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