Negative Numbers

(A young man with several tattoos indicating he was or is a gang member comes through my checkout line.)

Me: “Hello there, did you find everything today?”

Man: “Yep, found everything fine and dandy.”

Me: “Well, that’s good to hear. So, you got any big plans for the weekend?”

Man: “Well, I’m at a BBQ tonight, so that’s awesome.”

Me: “Well, that sounds like a lot of—”

Man: “Hey, do you have a boyfriend?”

Me: *pause* “No.”

Man: “Do you give out your number?”

Me: “Uhm, not really.”

Man: “Well, would you give me your number?”

Me: “Uhm, no, not really. But I’m flattered.”

Man: “Aw, that’s too bad. Well, you have a great night, pretty lady.”

(He walks away, and I am trying not to laugh while the next customer behind him, a lady, comes through my line.)

Lady: “Wow. That was awkward.”

Me: “Yeah.”

Lady: “So, would you give me your number?”

(I have no response as I am in total shock.)

Lady: “Oh well, have a good day!”