Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills
(I’m a nurse in the UK. I’m letting a family of American tourists know that their son, who has recovered from a fever, has been discharged from hospital.)
Me: “Mr & Mrs [Name], I’ve got some good news! Your son is fine and has been discharged. You can continue your holiday now!”
Father: “How much do we owe you? Do you need our insurance details?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Your son did not need any medication. There will be no bills at all.”
Father: “Free? But what about consultation fees?”
Me: “Yes, free. Consultation is covered by our national health service.”
Father: “Free, like communism?”
Me: “Well, I guess you could say it’s sort of socialist.”
Father: “So we owe you nothing?”
Me: “Nope, not a penny.”
Father: “If I go home and cancel my health insurance, then get sick, I’ll get my medical treatment for free if I fly to the UK?!”
Me: “Not unless you have travel insurance, or live in a country we have a medical agreement with. The US health care system is private so we can’t make an agreement.”
Father: “But you just said the UK was communist! If it’s communist, health care should be free!”
Me: “It is, if you’re British or from an EU state.”
Father: “Whatever. Communists!”
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