Needs To Take A Pager From The Book Of Patience

(I’m a hostess at a restaurant. Saturdays are our busiest days, and we are on a wait all day long. On this particular day, several of our tables just don’t want to leave, and our queue starts to run over.)

Guest: *storms in through the door* “How long do I have to wait?”

Me: “For how many, ma’am?”

Guest: “Four.”

Me: “Right now, the wait is about 45 minutes, but you’re welcome to go walk around the mall for about twenty minutes and check back in with your pager.”

Guest: *snatches pager from me* “Okay.”

Guest: *comes back ten minutes later* “How long do I have to wait?”

Me: “You still have about a half hour left.”

(The guest takes two steps back and stands in front of me the rest of the time. Her friends join her; she checks back in every few minutes. She is now seventh on the list. I page a couple people.)

Guest: *comes forward and shoves her pager in my face* “I’m next, yes?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I still have a few names in front of you. A few of our tables are sitting a lot longer than we expected, but as soon as they come available I will page for them.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous! I have been here over an hour!”

Me: *looks at the timer next to her name on my screen* “You’ve been here fifty minutes.”

Guest: *swings pager around* “But I got this over an hour ago!”

Me: “You got it fifty minutes ago.”

Guest: *pauses* “Well, that’s almost an hour.”

Me: *looks at her and gives a forced smile*

Guest: *glares at me the rest of the time until I page her*

(I pretended to be preoccupied with my screen not to notice. Her party ended up being five; she didn’t count her child.)