Needs To Park That Neediness

| Working | June 3, 2014

(I work for a VERY needy attorney. One day, when she is out of town on business, she calls me on her cell phone, in an absolute panic, and demands that I find her a place to park her rental car. Thinking that she wants me to open an internet map site and direct her to the nearest parking lot, I start doing just that.)

Attorney: “NO! I need you to tell me if they have any available spaces!”

Me: “You… want me to tell you if a parking lot has a space for you to park?”

Attorney: *very demeaning* “Yes. Why can’t you do that?”

Me: “Well, because the satellite that takes the pictures of the cities is not currently over [City], so I have no way of knowing whether or not a parking lot that is 800 miles away has an opening for you.”

Attorney: “Why are you making this so difficult? Why can’t you help me? You hate me! You want me to be late! I can’t find a place to park! Just look at the map and tell me if they have any spaces open, or look to see if any metered parking is open!”

Me: “The map that is currently on the website is weeks, possibly months old. There is no way for me to know if there are any open spaces, in any parking lot or at any meter on the street.”

(The attorney makes a very disgusted noise and hangs up.)

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