Needs To Lift His Abilities To Get A Lift

(It is near the end of the semester in college. I have been attending a very small English class, which relies on a lot of verbal communication throughout the semester. There is one student in the class who has gotten the reputation as being an annoying shady stalker who is unprepared for college life.)

Student: *shouting* “Hey, does anyone here live in [Neighboring City]? I need a ride home after class.”

Class: *complete silence*

Student: *turns to my friend* “Hey, Pumpkinhead!

(Student #1 gave my friend that nickname for having long curly hair.)

Student: “Can you give me a ride home?”

Friend: *lying because he cannot stand [Student #1]* “Nope, I have an important meeting right after class, and it is going to last all night.”

Student: “C’mon, man, not even a ride to [Fast Food Restaurant]?”

Friend: “Nope, I am not going that way.”

Student: “You are such a bum.”

(Two minutes later:)

Student #1: *turns to me* “Hey, you can you give me a ride home?”

Me: *telling the truth* “No, I have a Deaf Studies class right after this class.”

Student #1: “Why would you need to study about death? Everyone dies.”

Me: *scowling* “Deaf Studies, sign language, learning about Deaf culture. So, no, I cannot give you a ride home.”

Student #1: “You’re deaf?”

Me: “No…” *proceeds to bang head on desk*