Needs To Learn About Togetherness

(Two customers come up to my register together with a bottle of brandy; both look young so I move to card them both.)

Me: “Can I see your IDs, please?”

Customer #1: “Oh, she’s not buying anything.”

Me: “It doesn’t matter. If you’re together, I need to see both of your IDs before I can sell this brandy to you.”

Customer #1: “We’re not together.”

Me: “Then how do you know she isn’t buying anything?”

Customer #1: “Well, she’s not holding anything, so I just assumed… We’re not together!”

Customer #2: “I’m just his ride!”

Me: “I’m sorry, that doesn’t matter. I cannot sell to you since you are together.”

(At this point they exchange a look that makes it very clear that they’re trying to pull one on me and that Customer #2 is, in fact, underage.)

Customer #1: “But we’re not together!”

Me: “She just said she’s the one who drove you here.”

Customer #1: “This is complete garbage! I have never heard of this stupid f***ing rule! No one’s ever done this to me before. We’re not even together!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It’s state law that I can only sell if I have IDs from everyone in the group.”

Customer #1: “But we’re not together!”