Needs To Adopt A Better Attitude

Home | Related | June 20, 2012

(My husband and I recently adopted a baby who has an adorable puff of red hair. We are both brunettes. At a family reunion, I overhear this conversation between my husband and a distant cousin.)

Cousin: “Man, you should look into a DNA test. I don’t think that kid is yours.”

(My husband, thinking it’s a joke, plays along. He has very distinctive ears.)

Husband: “Maybe you’re right. [My name] did get it around in high school, but [daughter’s name] has my ears.”

Cousin: “I didn’t see any nubs, man. Get that test; dump those two in the street!”

(At this point, he realizes his cousin is serious.)

Husband: “[Daughter’s name) is adopted, [wife’s name] can’t have kids, and she would never cheat on me. I think you should leave now, and stay away.”

Me: “I knew I married you for a reason.”

This story is part of our Terrible Cousins roundup!