Needs A Punch Of Punctuation

| Working | August 9, 2013

(I have just purchased the tickets for my teenage daughters and myself to see a movie. I walk up to the concession stand.)

Cashier: “Hi! What can I get for ya?”

Me: “Hello. May I please have a large popcorn, one medium popcorn, two hotdogs, a box of [candy], and three large [soda]s?”

Cashier: *bluntly* “No.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Cashier: “I said no! I don’t serve grammar-nazis!”

Daughter: “How was she being a grammar-nazi?”

Cashier: “She said, ‘May I please have,’ when she should have said, ‘Can I get!’ Only grammar-nazis talk like that!”

Daughter: “That is so inaccurate that my brain literally hurts trying to process it.”

Cashier: “See! You too! Normal people don’t use the word ‘process!’ You’re both a bunch of grammar-nazis, and I refuse to serve you until you talk like normal people!”

Daughter: “Mom, let’s just go to a different register. He isn’t worth it.”

Me: “Hold on. I will speak in whatever way I prefer to speak. A ‘grammar-nazi’ is someone who corrects another’s grammar, therefore you are actually being the grammar-nazi. You will serve us with a smile on your face.”

Cashier: “Ha! Or what?”

(The manager, who has been standing behind the cashier for quite some time, puts his hand on the cashier’s shoulder.)

Manager: “Or else you deal with me.”

(The cashier turns white as he looks back and sees the manager.)

Cashier: “But, I-I-uh.”

Manager: “Get the frig out of here.”

(The manager ends up serving us for free, and even gives us vouchers for a free movie the next time we visit.)

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