Needs A Big Fat Orange Apology

(I’m by no means overweight or fat, but I have a little tummy gut I’ve been trying to work on losing. I’m also wearing an orange shirt when this takes place.)

Me: “I hate my tummy.”

Boyfriend: “You look like a pumpkin!”

Me: *playfully offended* “WHAT? Are you saying I’m fat?”

Boyfriend: “No!”

Me: “Then why did you say I look like a pumpkin?” *pouting cutely*

Boyfriend: “It’s because you’re wearing that orange shirt!”

Me: “Well, there are other orange things. Like, you could have said I look like a carrot, which are nice and slender… but noooo… you said pumpkin!”

Boyfriend: “Okay, fine. You’re a carrot… A weirdly deformed carrot with a little growth on it.”

Me: “What? You couldn’t just say carrot… I have to be a hideously deformed carrot?”

Boyfriend: “I didn’t say you were hideous… You’re the prettiest deformed carrot I’ve ever seen.”