Needling Around For An Excuse

(I’m returning to the US from England, and need to pass through the security checkpoint before heading to my gate. With me are several friends. I have severe allergies which require an auto-injector for emergencies, and one of my friends is diabetic, requiring him to carry sharps. At the checkpoint, we place our bags through the scanner.)

Agent: *having fished the auto-injector from my bag* “Ma’am, what is this?”

Me: “Epinephrine, for anaphylaxis.”

Agent: “It has a needle.”

Me: “Yes, it does.”

Agent: “I cannot allow this on the plane.”

Me: “Do you know [Airline] serves nuts?”

Agent: “What has that got to do with anything?”

Me: “Well, unless you want to be called into the tarmac to remove my corpse from one of their planes, I believe you should inquire with your supervisor as to whether or not I am allowed to take my medicine with me.”