Need To Keep Your Mouth Shut Too

(I’m 15. My mum has just had another baby and I’m buying some more nappies (diapers) because we’ve run out.)

Cashier: “You know these are for babies, love?”

Me: “Yes, I know.”

Cashier: “How old are you?”

Me: “15.”

Cashier: “Have you told your mum, love? When are you due?”

Me: “These are for my mum… for my sister.”

Cashier: “Teenagers these days need to keep their legs shut!”

Me: “I’m not a bloody mum!”

Cashier: “No need for that abuse now, dear. How is your schoolwork doing? How are you coping with the baby?”

Me: “If you need to know, I’m a straight-A student, planning to applying to both Oxford and Yale.”

Cashier: “And leaving your baby at home? Keep your legs shut, child!”

Me: “You know what? I think I’ll just pop to [Competitor] for these instead, so that my Mum can change my sister.”

Cashier: *as I walk away* “You need to keep your legs shut, girl!”