You Need Coffee For Callers Like This

(I work in an adult store that’s in the same building as a topless club. I answer their phone as well as ours, but most people call with questions about the club.)

Caller: “How’s it looking down there?”

(We get this question a lot, and I honestly don’t know if they would prefer it be packed or empty, so I usually respond the same way.)

Me: “I don’t know. I answer the phone in the adult store next door.”

Caller: “Oh, really? What’s your favorite thing in the adult store?

Me: *rolling my eyes* “I don’t have a favorite.”

Caller: “Oh, come on!”

Me: *looking around quickly* “My [Coffee Maker]. Does that work for you? My [Coffee Maker] is my favorite thing here.”

Caller: “Well, that’s no fun.”

Me: “It is for me. I really like coffee.” *click*