Need A Toilet To Empty That Potty Mouth

I work in the fitting rooms at a very popular budget fashion chain on weekends. It gets super busy and I’m used to dealing with weird, awkward, or downright rude customers, but this one takes the cake. I have only been working at the store for a few weeks when this happens.

A woman comes up to me with her young son, a baby in a pushchair, and her mom, pushing past customers I’m serving.

Mother: “Where are your toilets?”

We don’t have toilets, so we are trained to tell customers the toilets they are able to use elsewhere in the shopping complex and offer to hold their items while they go.

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t have any toilets, but there are some at [Other Shop] which they are more than happy for you to use.”

Mother: “No, where are your toilets?”

Me: “As I said, we don’t have any, but—”

Mother: “I know you have a toilet in this building. Where is it? My son is about to s*** himself.”

We do have staff toilets and a disabled toilet for blue badge holders, but due to health and safety, we can’t just allow anyone in. Also, her son doesn’t seem to care at all about needing the bathroom.

Me: “I’m sorry, but—”

Mother: *Shouting* “My son is about to s*** himself! He’s going to s*** everywhere, so you’d better get a f****** manager before he s***s all over your floor!”

I’m super mortified as I’m trying to serve customers with young children. However, I try to remain calm and tannoy for a manager. Nobody shows up.

Mother: “Where the f*** is the manager? My son is going to s*** himself; we don’t have time to go anywhere else!”

She’s been shouting for a good ten minutes, easily double the time it would take for her to go to another bathroom and come back again.

Me: “I’m sorry. I’ve done a tannoy, but nobody—”

Mother: “Get a f****** manager! Now!”

I do another tannoy but nobody comes again; I do a third and one of my managers calls me from the admin area. While I’m on the phone, another customer with her young kids starts to defend me.

Nice Mother: “You know, it’s not the girl’s fault there’s no toilet.”

Mother: “Shut your f****** mouth!”

Nice Mother: “Oh, classy; how dare you talk like that in front of all these kids?!”

Mother: “Just f*** off! My kid is going to s*** himself so I need to use the toilet!”

On the phone, I’m trying to calmly explain the situation to my manager, who now has me on speaker with every other manager in the store. But I’m starting to get worried because the nice woman doesn’t deserve to be attacked. Panicked, I start to shout down the phone.

Me: “I need a manager; this woman wants the bathroom. She’s… I NEED A MANAGER DOWN HERE, NOW!”

Finally, my manager came down and had security escort the woman and her family out of the store, with her child who somehow had managed not to soil himself in the thirty or so minutes they’d been waiting. I hid in the back while trying not to cry from the stress of it all.

A year later, my manager still laughs about my yelling down the phone. I’m still a little bit terrified that the crazy toilet lady will return.