Need A Break From This Roommate

| PA, USA | Friendly | November 11, 2015

(I come home from work early.)

Roommate: “Hey, favorite roommate! How are you doing? Your hair looks lovely today; did you get a new shampoo? I was going to order your favorite pizza for dinner and surprise you, but you were home early so I didn’t get a chance to call them yet!”

(Pause.)

Me: “What did you break this time?”

Roommate: “…Sit down before I tell you.”

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