Narwhaling In Your Sleep

| Romantic | September 6, 2016

(My long distance girlfriend has moved to the area for school. We decide to move in together to save money. She has a hard time falling asleep in hotels, where we’d end up when we could actually see each other, so this is one of the first times she’s comfortable enough to fall fully asleep around me.)

Girlfriend: *while asleep* “Babe! We need to get to the rendezvous! We need to get out of here!”

Me: *waking up from this* “Are… are you sleeping?”

Girlfriend: “No! I’m trying to get out of here!”

Me: “Did… did you rob a bank?”

Girlfriend: “Yes! But the getaway driver isn’t showing up.”

Me: *deciding to play along* “Well, who’s the driver?”

Girlfriend: “THE NARWHAL!”

Me: “What…? Why is the narwhal the getaway driver?”

Girlfriend: “Because he can just stick his horn out the window and spear any police cars in front of him!”

Me: “But… a narwhal wouldn’t fit in anything but a bus. That’s why he’s probably late. You should have gotten a unicorn instead. They can fit in cars.”

Girlfriend: “BUT UNICORNS DON’T HAVE HANDS! THEY CAN’T DRIVE!”

Me: “But neither do narwhals.”

Girlfriend: *rolls over and grunts in frustration* “Unicorns don’t have hands…”

(Cue me leaving the room to laugh so I wouldn’t wake her. When asked about it the next day, she had no idea of the conversation.)

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