In The Wake Of Sleep Talking

(My girlfriend is staying over. It’s the middle of the night, we’re in bed, and it’s pitch black.)

Me: “Are you okay?”

Girlfriend: “Shut up.”

Me: “You look like you’ve been crying.”

Girlfriend: “Stop talking!”

Me: *starting to feel hurt and confused* “What?”

Girlfriend: “Are you awake now?”

Me: “Yes, I’m awake. What are you talking about?”

Girlfriend: “We’ve been having this conversation, like, every half hour all night. You ask if I’m okay and tell me I look like I’ve been crying. Stop sleep talking. You keep waking me up!”