Nacho Average “Regular”  

(It’s my first month as a manager at a craft beer bar with incredibly low prices. We serve free-flow nachos chips; dips are a dollar and there’s signage at all the self-service stations where customers get the nachos.)

Customer #1: “The bill looks about right; you can charge my card.”

Customer  #2: “Hold on. Here’s what you are going to do for me: remove the cheese because nobody told me it costs a dollar.”

Me: “That can’t be the case. I always mention dips are a dollar when I ask what you’d like, and there are signs up.”

Customer #2: “Oh, then it wasn’t you! It was her!” *points to my new part-timer* “I come here every Thursday; don’t you recognise me? You should remember your regular customers and treat them well! You need to remember me for next time!”

Me: “What is my name? Or, what is the name of my staff behind the bar? Do you know any of our names?”

Customer #2: “Uh…”

Me: “See, that’s the difference between someone who comes here because of the value we offer at our prices for top-tier products and someone who has made a personal connection with one of our staff. So, which are you?”

Customer #1: “Please stop harassing him over a dollar! You can charge my card.”

Me: “I’ve taken the cheese off your bill. See you next Thursday.”

(To the fuming tomato imploding from lack of a comeback: rest assured, I will remember you.)