Nacho Average Customer

I work at a convenience store with a hot food counter. We’re right off the highway near a big stadium on a game night, so we were slammed.

I was on the register closest to the soup. I hear two customers in football jerseys bickering. One shouts:

Customer: “Dude, you can’t do that!”

I look over to see that this man has jammed his arm into the Mac and cheese (it’s kept mildly warm, not piping hot), pulled some out, topped his hot dog with it, thrown the remainder back in the pot, and walked away. He’s even licking his fingers to add insult to injury.

Me: *Sighing and calling to the kitchen peeps in the back.* “Y’all need to come out here and remove the mac and cheese pot.”

Kitchen Coworker: *Calling from out back.* “Why?!”

Me: “You wouldn’t believe me!”

I had to tell this story to them after the rush, so they were confused until then. In fact, they were even more confused after. Anyway… 

This man ends up on my line, still with cheese all up his arm.

Me: “So that’s $3.99 for the hot dog, and about, I’d say… $25 for the whole pot of mac that you just wasted.”

Mac & Cheese Customer: “What?! I didn’t do that!”

Me: “I watched you. There is literal evidence up to your elbow. I see you and your friend are on your way to the game tonight. Either pay for it, or I will call the police, and then you won’t get to enjoy the game. I already know what car you drove here in. I can tell them when they get here and find you at the stadium. What’ll it be?”

He paid. His friend apologized, saying he was as confused with the disgusting behavior as we were, and then I went back to the rush. Weirdest thing to ever happen on a game night.