My Way Or The Driveway

(My grandma has always had a “my way or the highway” attitude, which has only become more pronounced as she gets older. One day, I’m going to her house to visit her and my grandpa. Since they have a narrow driveway, my family and I always park in the road in front of their house so we don’t block them in. I’ve just parked, and I’m walking up the driveway to the door when the garage opens. My grandma starts backing her car out. I wave, thinking she’ll see me — for reference, I’m wearing a neon green, eye-catching jacket — but she keeps going. I wave even more and yell for her to stop, but she doesn’t even seem to notice. I have to jump into a snowbank to avoid being run over. It’s only after she passes me that my grandma notices I’m there. She stops and gets out of the car.)

Grandma: “Oh, [My Name], I forgot you were coming over! What are you doing in the snow?”

Me: “I had to jump off the driveway so you wouldn’t run me over! Didn’t you see me?”

Grandma: “No, of course not.”

Me: “But… I was pretty highly visible. Weren’t looking behind you?”

Grandma: “I never look behind me when I’m backing out of my driveway. No one should be in my driveway.”

Me: “Um… sometimes people are going to be in your driveway. Like just now. I was in your driveway.”

Grandma: “No one should be in my driveway. There’s no reason to look until I reach the street.”

Me: “There are lots of people who might be in your driveway, Grandma: visitors, the mailman, pedestrians on the sidewalk… Isn’t it better to look than to accidentally hurt someone?”

Grandma: “No one should be in my driveway!”

(She wouldn’t listen to a word of reason. Later that day, I told my parents about the incident. According to my dad, this wasn’t the first time in recent months that she’d almost hurt someone with her lack of driving skills. He managed to convince her to take a driving test that a local hospital administers to determine if a senior citizen is still capable of driving safely. My grandma agreed only to get people to stop bugging her about her driving. She thought she would pass with flying colors. To her great surprise — and no one else’s — she failed and lost her license.)