My Roommates, And Other Animals

(My two housemates and I just moved house and are grabbing junk food for dinner. We all have very distinct personalities and I am assigning animals to each of them. I can be quite rude and surprisingly honest at times.)

Me: “You just lay around the house and look grumpy. You are definitely a cat.”

Housemate #1: ‘What? No. I want to be a dog.”

Me: “No, [Housemate #2] is a dog.”

Housemate #2: “Huh?

Me: “You’re a cat. You are lazy, always sleeping, and you do gymnastics so you climb everywhere.”

Housemate #1: “… I can see that.”

Me: “[Housemate #2], you’re a dog. You are loyal but tend to do any trick asked of you.”

Housemate #2: “…okay.”

Housemate #1: “Okay, well you’re a—”

Me: “I’m a parrot. I talk a lot and I am always annoying people.”

(Housemate #2 laughs and Housemate #1 just stares at me.)

Me: “What? Too correct?”

Housemate #1: “Just a bit.”