My, Mime-self, And I

(This takes place a month after I quit my job as a telemarketer. One day, I get a phone call from a different company trying to sell the same things I was selling at my old job.)

Telemarketer: “Hi, this is [name] from [company]. Is [my name] available?”

Me: “Speaking.”

Telemarketer: “Awesome! We at [company] are currently going through our old loyal customers and since you have been such a great…”

(At this point I recognize the pitch, as it was the exact same one I had been taught to use at my old work place.)

Me: *joining in* “…customer for us, we are glad to let you know that we are donating you six months’ worth of a magazine of your choice…”

(I continue talking at the same rhythm with him, repeating the old sales pitch from word to word. Surprised, he starts slowing down, until his words fade away and I finish the pitch alone.)

Me: “Yes, can you imagine getting six months of a magazine of your choice for free? The only thing you’ll need to worry about is the postage. So, for merely 20€ a month, you can get [lists various magazines] and receive a gift that is worth over 60€. What do you think? Shall we mail the first magazine this week?”

Telemarketer: “Uh…”

Me: “Yeah, sorry dude, not biting. Been there, done that.”

(He didn’t even bother to say good bye or anything and basically just dropped the call right there. On the positive side of things, they never called me again.)