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My Hands Are As Clean As A Whistle

, , , , , | Friendly | May 29, 2019

(My husband answers the door to a neighbor, angrily knocking.)

Neighbor: “Hey! Your son had better cut that s*** out!”

Husband: “Huh? [Son] isn’t even here right now.”

Neighbor: “Bulls***! My wife’s laying out in her bikini and your son’s in his room whistling at her! If it’s not him, then it’s you!”

Husband: *laughs*

(This, of course, ticks off Mr. [Neighbor] even more.)

Husband: “Hold on, hold on… Come on in the house. We’ll talk with whoever it is whistling at your wife.”

(The neighbor follows my husband into the room and he points to the offending whistler: a newly acquired parrot! The bird cocks his head at the newcomer and whistles at him.)

Husband: “Okay… Do you want to apologize to me, my son, or the bird?”

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