My Day’s About To Get Hairy

(I’m working the box office on a particularly slow night. Part of my duty is to answer the phone and deal with customer inquiries. We are a theater that shows rather alternative movies.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [theater].”

Customer: “Oh, what a lovely young voice. Tell me, what is [movie] about?”

Me: “It’s about a victim of pedophilia and how she exacts revenge on her abuser. The next showing is at–”

Customer: “That’s nice. You have such a beautiful voice.”

Me: “Um, thanks.”

Customer: “Tell me. Do you like cats? I love cats. I have several. I just moved here and I can’t find any good vets.”

Me: “Yes. I like them.”

Customer: “We sound perfect for each other. I’ll see you tonight when I buy tickets from you…in person. You’ll recognize my voice. I’ll also be covered in cat fur. Good night!” *hangs up*