My Bladder, My Choice

I have been on a long car trip with my uncle. I tend to have to pee a lot, so we’ve plotted out our stops to our destination and back home before leaving. We never stop somewhere and only use the facilities; if we don’t need gas, one or both of us will buy a drink or snack.

At this particular stop, our last before home, my uncle is filling up his tank. There is a “Clean Restrooms!” sign in the window, and I need to go, so I head inside. Finding that the restroom door is locked, I approach the employee at the counter.

Me: “Hi! We’re getting gas—”

I point outside through the window behind the employee, where my uncle’s is the only vehicle. 

Me: “—and I need to use the restroom. Could you please unlock it for me?”

The employee says nothing but comes around and unlocks the door, constantly glaring at me, even after I thank him, without looking away once.

While going, it occurs to me that perhaps the station doesn’t get much kick-back from gas sales, and to him, I might as well be using the restroom without making a purchase, so afterward, I grab a drink and a snack and head to the counter.

Employee: *While ringing me out* “Next time, you don’t ask me to unlock the restroom for you! You ask me if you can use the restroom! You are a woman! I am a man! I decide when you need to use the restroom!”

Stunned, I think I probably gape like a fish while I go through the motions of paying and then practically run back to the car.

Uncle: “What’s the matter? Are you sick? Why do you look weird?”

I told him what happened and he CATAPULTED out of his low sports car and barreled into the store.

I will never forget the look on that employee’s face when my 6’3″, pissed off, long-haired, bearded Native American uncle came charging toward him! I wish I could give a more satisfactory ending, but it’s been so long that I don’t remember the exact words that he screamed at the employee, only that the little vein in his temple that tells me when he’s REALLY mad was bulging! We’ve never stopped at that gas station again.