Must Have Taken A Napa In Geography Class

(A new customer walks into our liquor store. Note that I am the store manager and have been there a number of years, and have a significant appreciation for wine.)

Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. Can I help you with anything today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m going to a dinner party this evening and want to bring a bottle of wine. I don’t know anything about wines, though, and I would like to show off a bit.”

Me: “Certainly, I can help you with that. Do you know what food they will be serving at this party?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. Roast beef or lamb, I think.”

Me: “In that case, you would want a red wine. If you’re not sure of the meal, then I would suggest one of the blends as they are good all rounders and a safer bet if you’re unsure. As for showing off, we have some very nice wines from Chile that we have just got in. Chile has been producing some very nice wines that are winning a number of awards at the moment, and they’re very new to the Australian market so they would be the perfect thing for showing off wine appreciation.”

Customer: “No, I said we we’re having a roast, not a curry! I don’t want anything spicy!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am… I meant the country, not the spice. These are not spicy wines. They’re just from Chile.”

Customer: “No, I said I don’t want a spicy wine. Can’t you just show me a wine that will make me look like I’m smart in front of my friends?!”

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