Must Hate Keeping Up With The Joneses

This takes place at a call centre for a large insurance underwriter. I am dealing with inbound customer calls about home insurance

Me: “Good afternoon, welcome to [Insurance Company]. You’re speaking to [My Name]. Could I take your name, please?”

Customer: “Phillip.”

I am not quite sure if that is his first name or surname.

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. Do you have a policy number I can take, please?”

Customer: “No, I left it at home; I am at work now.”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. Could I take your postcode, please? I can search for your policy that way.”

Customer: “You should have that information on your screen.”

Me: “I will need to search for your policy first. For that, I will need your postcode.”

Customer: “You mean to tell me you can’t find me with my name?”

Me: “I can certainly try. Can I take your full name?”

Customer: “I don’t give out my surname over the phone.”

Me: *Inwardly sighs* “I will need to take your surname to search for your name.”

Customer: “I DON’T GIVE OUT THAT INFORMATION TO RANDOM STRANGERS ON THE PHONE! JUST SEARCH MY FIRST NAME!”

I think, “You called me?!”

Me: “There are 1400 results for the name Philip.”

Customer: “HOW IS THAT RIGHT?!”

Me: “The system has bought up all the policyholders with the first name Philip and the surname Phillips.”

Customer: “UGH! My surname is Jones.”

I inwardly sigh again, as I can see where this is going.

Me: “That still gives me seven results. Could I take your postcode, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have time for this.” *Hangs up*

It always amazes me how people think their name is so unique and special! Especially with a surname like Jones in the UK!