Muscling Up A Comeback

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2017

(It is near the end of my shift and my coworker has arrived to relieve me. As she’s putting her money in her register a guest approaches the counter.)

Guest: “Do you have a holding service?”

Me: “What’s that?”

Guest: “A holding service.” *he motions to the coat on his arm* “You know, some place I could leave this?”

Me: “Oh! No, sorry, sir; not here.”

Guest: “Aw, but this coat is heavy!”

Coworker: “Think how we feel carrying our purses around!”

Guest: “Yeah, but you ladies come equipped with something that helps you carry them.”

Me: *without missing a beat, I cheerily chirp back* “So do you. They’re called muscles.”

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  • Jennifer Johnson

    “Yeah, but you ladies come equipped with something that helps you carry them.”

    I… what? I assume he means breasts, but exactly how do they help carry a purse? If anything, they make it more difficult!

    Unless he thinks we somehow hook them into our vaginas and carry them that way? I’m honestly just very confused about what he meant.

    • Jelaza

      Same here. I was intending to ask this exact question.

    • Siirenias

      That sounds very involved.

    • Bruno Croxatto

      My first thought on reading that was: ‘Like what exactly. Shoulders?’. OPs comeback is nice though 😛

      • Jackie Fauxe

        I think you’re right about him meaning shoulders since purses usually have straps that fit over them. Coats you pretty much have to wear or awkwardly carry .

        • jdb1984

          Or emulate the 90’s and tie it around your waist

          • Jackie Fauxe

            I think that’s easier to do with a jacket than a coat.

    • Leiko Burningbear

      My first thought was boobs, too. But that doesn’t make sense. (Granted, stupid customers rarely make sense.)

      But then I thought….maybe he might mean shoulder straps? Purses usually have shoulder straps, while coats do not. (I’m assuming dude’s got his coat draped over his arm.)
      But the “you ladies come equipped” bit would seem to indicate it’s something that female bodies have that males do not. Which leads right back to boobs.

      • Sandy Pham

        I don’t know why but I immediately thought of shoulder straps, and I can assure you I don’t have a pure soul. His wordings was odd, but (assumed he did mean shoulder straps) it worked for a non-native English speaker like me.

        And “holding service” also sounds odd as well, almost like he was asking if they would stand there and hold his coat for him, which we know now that wasn’t the case.

        So perhaps English was also not his mother’s tongue.

    • Rob Tonka

      As I read the story, I thought the customer was a woman, but looking back I see its not specified. Either way, I had no idea what guest was suggesting they had.

      I guess breasts are a good a guess as any…except that makes no sense(which is not to say you’re not making sense, just that the customer just becomes even more confusing)

      • Vicemage

        It is specified, actually: *he motions to the coat on his arm*

        • Rob Tonka

          Thanks. Missed that.

      • KashyaCharsi

        Carrying pens at best, when they aren’t perky enough.

    • Illogically

      I was kind of thinking boyfriends? But yeah, there’s some wonky thought processes going on somewhere in there.

      • That was my guess, too. That women somehow get men to carry their purse for them.

    • Vulpis

      I was thinking he meant ‘boyfriends’, given the rest of his silliness. Though I do wonder…this is listed as ‘casino, gift shop, health & body’…if it’s a casino, they don’t have a coat-check?

    • 白大福

      Well, their penis does better job for hanging thing in this case.

      • allahboleh

        Not 24 hours a day

    • Kitty

      That image… is terrifying. And funny.

    • KashyaCharsi

      Yes, that was the only way I could picture it, too, carrying purses with our boobs XD

  • Deadpool
    • AKchic

      ’tis merely a flesh wound.

      • Deadpool

        I’ll bite your legs off!

        • Cathrope

          The black Knight, but in this case Deadpool, always wins!

        • AKchic

          Promises, promises.
          Don’t bite off more than you can chew!

  • BR

    Purse straps?

  • Jackie Fauxe

    Was there really no coat service in the entire casino or just not in the gift shop? If it was elsewhere, I hope you guys told him how to get there after everyone was done kidding around.

    If there wasn’t one…I don’t know, that just seems like a poor idea. I’m not a casino-goer, though, so what do I know.

    • Leah

      Where I live it’s typically too warm for coats so nowhere has a coat room. On the odd occasion it gets cold enough for a coat people just need to hold on to it.

      • Jackie Fauxe

        I think Oklahoma can pretty cold, though.

    • JenL

      If the casino is attached to a hotel, or even a garage, they may assume coats will be left in rooms / cars…

      • error404

        In Vegas most if not all casinos do have a coat check regardless if they are attached to a hotel because a lot people who come to play the slots or see a show aren’t always staying at the hotel. A lot of tourists visits multiple casinos while in town.

  • Denton Young

    Was the coat made of osmium? Because I’ve never had an issue carrying any coat I’ve ever worn. If I wanted both hands free I tied it around my waist.

    • Kitty

      If I’m wearing a jacket and have my bag along, I just let it flop over the bag top. For a coat, it’s either too cold to take it off or I take my arms out and just have it on my shoulders like an awesome cape!

  • Kitty

    Dude. What the f*** kind of coat do you have that it’s soooooooooooooo heavy you can’t carry it?

  • Zorua

    I… What? On what planet did he learn biology that women’s bodies are supposed to have special purse-carrying mechanisms?

  • I_browse_with_Lynx

    I wish I had shoulders…

  • Sandy Pham

    I don’t see the problem with him asking if there was a service to keep his coat, or any other belonging. And that “Think how we feel carrying our purses around!” was rather rough if not rude from a service to a customer, if anything, I’d say his comment “ladies come equipped” was the comeback to the coworker.