Murdering The Theater

(I am in elementary school. My mom signs me up for summer acting classes at the local theater. On the first day, we’re all sitting around waiting for our teacher when a woman bursts into the room.)

Woman: “Help me! I am in pain!”

(There is very obvious fake blood dripping from her arm.)

Kid #1: “That looks fake.”

Woman: “How dare you insult me when I’m in pain?! I think I’m dying! Oh!”

(She staggers around the room for a bit.)

Kid #2: “Okay, I’ll play along. What happened?”

Woman: “Play along to what? This is real! I was taking a stroll across the street when I overheard a murder plot! I ran in fear and the man stabbed me in the arm!”

Kid #3: “So you decided to run into a theater for help?”

Me: “There’s literally a clinic right across the street.”

Woman: “Oh, silly children, I’ve fooled you! Don’t fear. This is all the magic of the theeeeeaaaaater!”

Me: “This is going to be a long summer…”