Too Much Money, Too Little Restraint

(A customer pulls out a wad of $100s, $50s, and $20s to pay. Note: During this entire transaction he speaks with a monotone and has no facial expressions. I’m very animated and like to joke around with people.)

Customer: “I have too much money.”

Me: “Isn’t that a good thing?”

Customer: “Sometimes I think I need help spending it.”

Me: “Ha! I’ll take it. I need a new pair of work shoes!”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Actually, yeah. Look at these things. Ratty and the soles are broken.”

Customer: “Do you live in town?”

Me: “Yeah.”

(I begin to realize that he might not know I was joking about taking his money.)

Customer: “I’ll have to find you one of these days and take you out shopping.”

Me: “Who could say no to that?”

(After he leaves I mutter:)

Me: “I need to shut up. My chit-chat is going to land me dead in a ditch someday.”