Much A-Drive-Thru About Nothing

, | Portland, OR, USA | Working | February 27, 2013

(My friends and are I in three-vehicle convoy, driving a very long distance from Vancouver, Canada, to California in one long go for a big event. We’ve gotten a very late start on very little sleep, have been driving for hours. Tired and hungry, we see a fast food place on the highway and pull into the parking lot. As we walk up to the doors, we make eye contact with a cashier inside. Instead of letting us in, she breaks into a jog to get there first, and locks it in our faces.)

Cashier #1: “The dining room’s closed!”

Us: “D***! We were really hoping to try you guys out. Is there anywhere else close by to eat that would still be open?”

Cashier #1: “No. Oh, but the drive-thru’s still open. It’s just the dining room that’s closed.”

Us: “Okay, thanks.”

(We would have liked to sit down on real chairs, but it’s a warm summer evening so we figure we’ll tailgate it. So, we stroll over, en masse, to order at the drive-thru window.)

Cashier #2: “You have to come through in a vehicle. We can’t serve you if you aren’t in a car.”

Us: “Really? Okay, fine…”

(Because we’ve got two trucks pulling trailers that won’t fit in the drive-thru, we decide what we want and have a single driver pull the remaining car into the drive-thru.)

Cashier #2: “We can’t do an order for people who aren’t in the car.”

Driver: “Are you serious? Seriously? Why the h*** not?!”

Cashier #2: “It’s our policy.”

Driver: “Can you change it? I mean, can you waive it? There’s like ten of us and there’s no way we can all fit in this car.”

Cashier #2: “It’s our policy.”

Driver: “Fine.”

(Our driver pulls around back to the parking lot again. We manage to squeeze enough people in that everyone’s only ordering for about two of them, which we figure they can’t possibly argue with. Once again, we head over to the drive-thru.)

Driver: “Okay, I think we’re good to go. We’d like—”

Cashier #2: “Drive-thru’s closed.”

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