Moving The Goalposts

My dad is a combo of being really into sports, really competitive, and really patriotic. When the US was announced as one of the host countries of the 2026 World Cup, he realized he didn’t know much about football/soccer, and after five minutes of research.

Dad: “This is a stupid game. No wonder Americans don’t like it.”

Me: “Well, I think the rest of the world disagrees with you.”

Dad: “Then they’re all stupid too.”

Anyhoo, the World Cup comes along, and initially we’re not doing too bad. The US team makes it through the initial stages, and my dad is watching every match.

Dad: “USA! USA! We’re gonna win this thing!”

Me: “Have you seen how strong the other teams are? We’re doing well, but don’t expect us to make the finals or anything.”

Dad: “Have you no American pride?”

Me: “No, I just have eyes.”

Inevitably, the day comes when Team USA is totally destroyed by Belgium, 4-1.

Dad: “See! Soccer is a stupid game!”

Me: “So it’s stupid because we lost?”

Dad: “Where the h*** is Belgium anyway?”

Me: “In the quarter-finals?”

He went back to watching American football after that…