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Moving Out Of This House Will Be A Christmas Miracle

| Working | December 23, 2016

(We are in the process of selling a house. The buyers got a great deal and seem really enthusiastic. It quickly turns into a pain when they take forever to action anything, and keep asking stupid question. Their solicitor is no better. I am copied in on these emails.)

Buyer Solicitor: “Hi, could we have a copy of the water bill?”

My Solicitor: “These were sent over a month ago.”

Buyer Solicitor: “No, the actual paper copy.”

My Solicitor: “As explained in the email, no paper bills are received, only online. That was what we provided, last month.”

Buyer Solicitor: “Hmm, well, ok. We need the warranty pack.”

My Solicitor: “Again, last month, we explained that there is no paper copy. Please ring [number] and they will provide one for you.”

Buyer Solicitor: “Okay, thanks.”

(Two weeks later, we are running out of time.)

Buyer Solicitor: “Hi, I’m going to need the warranty pack.”

My Solicitor: “As explained two weeks ago and six weeks ago, the paper version is no longer available. Please ring [number] and request one.”

Buyer Solicitor: “No, that will cost my clients [small amount of money]. You will have to pay.”

My Solicitor: “Fine, there will be money set aside for you on exchange.”

(Another week later, and now the sale is hanging by a thread.)

Buyer Solicitor: “We need the warranty pack.”

My Solicitor: “This has all been covered. We are running out of time! What exactly is wrong with the information provided?”

(Three days later.)

Buyer Solicitor: “Oh, we want it before we sign.”

(Everything is going wrong. The people we are working for have been patient, but are threatening to pull out. This constant change of request means we have only a few days left. I rush around and get the pack. It took all of a few minutes to do, something they could have done easily. Quickly, I send it over.)

My Solicitor: “We have provided everything you asked for. Will you now sign?”

(A whole day later and several emails.)

Buyer Solicitor: “No, my clients have said that the whole process has taken too long, and they are pulling out.”

(Months of waiting…. Because of them, four families with Christmas ruined, living in boxes. And they complained that it took too long! )

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What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?

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