Moving Out Of Grandmother’s Shadow

, , , , | Related | June 21, 2020

For years, according to my grandmother and father, I could never do anything right. I couldn’t look after my children or feed them properly, wasn’t good enough for my husband, didn’t earn what my siblings did… The list goes on.

Since my grandmother passed, I have noticed changes in my father towards me. He’s seen me step up to help my disabled younger brother when both sisters claimed they were too busy, I have never had my hand out for money as those higher earners have, never lived beyond my means, and never dumped my children on them to go out partying.

There are still times when he says things about my house — I’ve never been the tidiest of people but do like things to be clean — and it took a while to stop being compared to my Grandmother.

I am helping clean up after a meal at my parent’s place, wiping the crumbs off the counter into my hand and putting them in the bin. I look up to see Dad staring at me.

Dad: “Your grandmother would never have done it that way.”

Me: *Internally cringing* “Done what?”

Dad: “She would have just wiped those onto the floor and left them for someone else.”

I took that as a sign of his approval.

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