Your Mouth Will Get You Into Trouble

(I’ve just had a root canal and tooth extraction. I also have TMD [Temporomandibular joint dysfunction] and it’s difficult to anaesthetise my gums, resulting in a swollen jaw on the side that wasn’t worked on, and the maximum dose of anaesthetic being used to just taper off the pain. I’m not the happiest of bunnies while leaving the dentist. I’m making my way home, walking through the main street of my town when a woman holding a clipboard points at me from about 20 metres away. I try to avoid her but she cuts me off.)

Woman: “Got a minute, dude?”

Me: *walking around her* “No, sorry. I’ve just been to the dentist—”

Woman: *cutting me off again* “No worries, mate. You don’t have to talk.”

(I decide to just let her sell whatever crap she’s pushing and get it over with. I shrug and nod.)

Woman: “GREAT! First question: how old are you?”