Mother’s Knowledge Is Victoria-Victorious

(My history textbook is awful. It’s full of typos and if I need to know something, it’s most likely barely covered, if even mentioned at all. I’m trying to do a report on Great Britain in the 1800s, and my mom knows all sorts of stuff from the era due to watching British historical dramas. We are discussing Queen Victoria, as her reign encompassed most of the time period I’m writing about, and comparing her knowledge to what’s in my textbook.)

Mom: “She married her first cousin.”

Me: “It doesn’t tell me that. She married a German prince, Albert.”

Mom: “Who was her first cousin.” *explains how Victoria and Albert were related*

Me: “It doesn’t tell me any of that! I only have, like, five paragraphs on her!”

Mom: “Does it tell you her dog’s name?”

Me: *scans* “Nope.”

Mom: “Oh. Well, I figured it would tell you some useless, random fact, like her dog’s name or something.”

Me: *scans again* “She had 36 grandchildren…”

Mom: “Yeah, she had nine kids!”

Me: “Well, it doesn’t tell me that!”