Mother Needs To Get Her Facts Straight

(I came out as gay to my family just over a year ago. My mum took an instant liking to it, and she now demands that we do stereotypically gay things together, which I detest. She is badgering me about her fashion sense and how she looks.)

Mum: “How does this top look? I think it tugs in all the wrong places. Should I take it back? I’m going to take it back.”

Me: *sigh* “It looks fine mum, honestly.”

Mum: “C’mon! Don’t lie to me. You gays are supposed to be catty and jump at a chance to insult a fatty like me!”

Me: “Mum, we’re not going into this again!”

Mum: “God, there’s no pleasing you! I think I got a defective gay. Is there a place I can trade you in for one who will come with me to the spa, have girly movie nights, and talk about boys over large tubs of ice cream?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s called the TV gay stereotype.”

Mum: “You’re not as fun as the gays on TV. At least they share naughty tips with bananas and stuff!”