Mother Doesn’t Encourage An Open-Door Policy

(Earlier in the day, my father had given me one of his coats to wear, thinking I was cold. I had been wearing it for a while, but put it on my chair.)

Dad: “Where’s my jacket?”

Me: *hands him his coat*

Dad: “Put something on; it’s freezing!”

Me: *sighs internally*

(A few moments later, my parents are going to buy something from the hardware store. My mom goes through the standard procedures…)

Mom: “Don’t open the door to anyone—”

Me: *trying to imitate young boys of the “Hey mister” variety* “Gee, Ma, can’t I? I wanna get kidnapped so bad!”

(My parents promptly left the building and drove away.)