Mother Doesn’t Encourage An Open-Door Policy
(Earlier in the day, my father had given me one of his coats to wear, thinking I was cold. I had been wearing it for a while, but put it on my chair.)
Dad: “Where’s my jacket?”
Me: *hands him his coat*
Dad: “Put something on; it’s freezing!”
Me: *sighs internally*
(A few moments later, my parents are going to buy something from the hardware store. My mom goes through the standard procedures…)
Mom: “Don’t open the door to anyone—”
Me: *trying to imitate young boys of the “Hey mister” variety* “Gee, Ma, can’t I? I wanna get kidnapped so bad!”
(My parents promptly left the building and drove away.)