Moronnium Falcon

Customer: “I want to get a falcon. How would I do that?”

Me: “Well, falcons are wild animals and can be very dangerous. If you want to get into falconry, you have to do a lot of research. I’m pretty sure you’d need a license to own a bird like that.”

Customer: “Well, those are easy to get, right?”

Me: “Well, no.”

Customer: *points to parrot cage* “That’d be big enough for a falcon, right?”

Me: “No, you’d need something much bigger.”

Customer: “Oh, and I wouldn’t really need one of those gloves, right? I can just wear my sweater and the claws won’t go through.”

Me: “Certainly not! There’s a reason those gloves are made of thick leather! Without one, you’d be badly hurt!”

Customer: “Oh. Well, do you guys sell falcons here?”

Me: “No, we don’t. Why do you want a falcon, anyway?”

Customer: “I want to support my favorite football team! I figure having a pet falcon would be a great tribute!”