More Than One Way To Get That Problem Licked

(I’m on my lunch break at work, sitting outside. A mounted police officer has approached and is on the sidewalk near us. I love horses, so I ask if I can approach the horse. The officer says yes and I pet the animal’s snout. The horse sticks out its tongue and licks my hand. Just then, my phone buzzes with an incoming text message from my ex.)

Ex: “Just wanted to tell you that the paperwork came. We’re now officially divorced.”

Me: “A horse licked me!”

(She doesn’t reply, so I continue:)

Me: “Or was that an inappropriate response?”

Ex: “LOL. Actually, no. I was feeling down about it all, and that made me crack up.”