More Than A Minor Inconvenience
Caller: “Can I make an appointment for my daughter?”
Me: “Is your daughter a minor?”
Caller: “Yes.”
Me: “Then yes, ma’am, you can.”
Caller: “Good. She wants to come in on [date] to drop off her [document].”
Me: “I’ll just need to ask a few questions to be able to schedule that appointment.”
I ask the woman for some information that we need in order to schedule. The list of questions is long, and she grows impatient.
Caller: “How much longer is this going to take? My daughter is actually coming to pick me up and take me to my doctor’s office after she picks her daughter up from school.”
Me: “Your daughter… has a daughter who’s in school?”
Caller: “That’s right. My grandbaby is six.”
Me: *Starting to feel an ominous, nauseating sensation in my stomach.* “And… just how old is your daughter, ma’am?”
Caller: “She’s twenty-five. Can we hurry this up or what?”
Me: *No longer feeling nauseous and now feeling annoyed.* “Ma’am, earlier you told me your daughter was a minor. Now you’re telling me she’s twenty-five. You cannot schedule an appointment for her if she’s not a minor. She would have to call us herself.”
Caller: *Like she’s talking to a “special” person.* “Uh, she IS a minor, hellooo?”
Me: “No, she’s over eighteen. That makes her legally an adult.”
Caller: “Yeah, so what? She’s a minor AND an adult.”
Me: *Wanting to bang my head.* “That’s not how that works, ma’am. She’s a minor until she turns eighteen, and then legally, she’s an adult.”
Caller: “It doesn’t matter how old she is! I’m still alive, aren’t I? You’re talking to me right now, aren’t you?”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Caller: “I’m the oldest in the family! That makes my daughter a minor! She won’t stop being a minor until I die!”
Me: “That is DEFINITELY not how that works, ma’am.”
Caller: “What are you, a [ableist slur] or something?! This is why our f****** government can’t get anything done, because it’s full of f****** [ableist slur]s! [Former President] must have hired you!”
Me: “The government doesn’t pay me to endure that kind of treatment, ma’am. This call is now terminated. Have a good day.” *Click.*
