More Like The Gas Beneath My Pants

Me: “Hello, [Music Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you had the sheet music for Hero.”

Me: “Mariah Carey?”

Customer: “No! Bette Midler!”

Me: “Oh! Wind Beneath My Wings! Sure, we’ve got it!”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “The song is called Wind Beneath My Wings. It’s one of the most popular vocal arrangements on the market.”

Customer: “No, it’s that one about her hero.”

Me: “Yeah…” *sings* “Did you ever know that you’re my hero? You’re everything I wish I could be… I can fly higher than an eagle… and you are the WIND BENEATH MY WINGS.”

Customer: “Yes! That’s the one!” *sings* “‘Did you ever know that you’re my HERO!’ Can you hold a copy for me?”

Me: *giving up* “Of course…”

(Later on…)

Coworker 1: “So, who was on the phone?”

Coworker 2: “… and why are they the wind beneath your wings?”