Moral Of The Story: Don’t Try To Do Nice Things

Every so often, a customer forgets their debit or credit card at the register and has already left when we discover it. If I’m the shift leader and time and circumstances allow it, I try to contact the bank so that they can let the customer know where the card is and that they can pick it up.

The reaction I hope for (and thankfully get in most cases):

Bank #1: “Thank you for letting us know. We’ll tell the customer right away.”

This is usually followed by a relieved customer showing up shortly afterward.

Unfortunately, I also had this exchange:

Bank #2: “Thank you for letting us know. The card is now blocked, and they will be sent a new one in the next few days.”

Me: “What? No, that’s exactly what I wanted to avoid. There’s no need to issue a new card. It is right here and unharmed. The owner can just pick it up.”

Bank #2: “Well, that’s our policy. I can’t make exceptions. Thank you for calling. Bye.”

This has taught me to ask about their policy before telling them the customer’s name.

And then, this happened a few days ago.

This bank is “online only” (meaning no branch offices), but they have a central customer service phone number on the back. I call it and get an automated virtual receptionist.

Bank #3: “Thank you for calling [Bank #3]. If you are calling for [A], press one; [and so on]. Cards, press five; [and so on]. Miscellaneous, press seven.”

I press five for Cards.

Bank #3: “Please state the last six digits of the account number.”

I already get a weird feeling, since this is not my card, but I reluctantly do so.

Bank #3: “Please state your personal five-digit telebanking number.”

Of course, I don’t have that, and I don’t want to guess, so I just start saying what I want, hoping that some actual person is listening in or at least getting alerted that there’s an issue.

Bank #3: “You need to state your personal five-digit telebanking number. We cannot help you without it.”

Again, I just say what I want, only to be interrupted by the automated voice.

Bank #3: “If you have misplaced this number, please hang up, look for it, and call back later. This call will now be ended.”

And so it was.

I was stunned. Then, I tried again, pressing seven this time, hopeful that there would be an actual operator for miscellaneous requests. Nope, same prompts, same result.

I was just trying to be helpful and do the right thing. Do I really have to guess some random number and commit identity theft just so I can report a debit card that I found that is not mine?!

I’m sorry for the poor customer who is not being notified now, but at least I now know which bank will never get MY money.